Funeral guest book: what to include and what to do after
Give each guest a line for their full name, how they knew the person and a town or address. Place the book where people queue on the way in, with a minder and two spare pens.
Most of a guest book's use comes after the service, when the family reads it and writes thank-you notes. Every choice before the day should make entries legible and easy to trace.
Decide early who brings the book, who watches it during the service and who takes it home afterwards. Ask the funeral director what they already provide before buying a stand or register.
Make the memory book together
Invite people to send photos and their own words, then choose what goes in the book.
Questions for the memory cards beside the book
- How did you know them, and for how long?
- Where did the two of you first meet?
- What did they teach you, on purpose or by accident?
- Which place will you always link with them?
- What did they do that their family may never have heard about?
- What were they like at work, at church or on the team?
- Which meal, song or saying of theirs comes to mind first?
- Do you have a photo of them the family could borrow and copy?
Columns that make each entry traceable
A signature on its own is hard to use weeks later. An entry reading only a first name and "and family" leaves nobody sure who came or where to write.
- Full name, printed as well as signed
- How they knew the person: work, church, school, street, team or club
- Town, or a postal address if the guest is willing to give one
- How many people came with them
- A narrow column for a short memory, left optional
Where the book sits and who minds it
Put the table on the route into the room rather than by the exit, where few people stop. Check the light there too.
Ask one cousin or friend to stand near it. They point people to it, replace a pen that dies and close the book when the service starts.
Guests who arrive late or leave early miss it. If there is a gathering afterwards, carry the book there and open it again.
- Two pens tested on the book's paper, plus a spare
- A small printed card explaining the columns
- A clip or weight for each open page if the table is outside
A memory card beside the signatures
Some guests will write more than a line when given room and a little time. Put a stack of blank cards and a lidded box next to the book, with a few questions printed on a stand.
Ask for a name on every card. An unsigned memory is hard to place and impossible to thank.
A viewing, two services and people watching online
If there is a viewing or visitation the evening before and a service the next day, use one book with a dated divider. Two separate books tend to end up in two different houses.
For guests watching a stream, give a single email address or form for their name and how they knew the person. Print those entries and add them to the back of the book.
What the family does with it afterwards
Scan or photograph every page before the book is passed between relatives. Each household can then keep a copy while the original stays with one person.
Copy names into a separate list for thank-you notes and tick them off there, leaving the book itself unmarked. Longer cards can go into a memory book later, beside photographs from the same years.
Pages to make
The week before: choose the book and its columns
Pick a book with ruled columns or rule your own. Decide whether to ask for addresses, and print the small card that explains each column.
On the day: set the table and hand it over
Place the book, pens, memory cards and box on the way in. Brief the minder on when to close it and where it goes after the service.
At the close: gather everything in one place
Collect the book, the card box and any remote entries together. Count the cards and put them in an envelope inside the front cover.
The fortnight after: copy, share and thank
Scan the pages and the cards, send copies to close relatives and work through the name list for thank-you notes.
Questions
What do you write in a funeral guest book?
Your full name, how you knew the person and, if there is a column for it, your town. A short memory is optional. Print your name if your signature is hard to read.
What else is a funeral guest book called?
It is also called a register book, a memorial register or a sign-in book. The use is the same: a record of who came, kept for the family.
Who keeps the funeral guest book?
Usually the next of kin or whoever is writing the thank-you notes. Scan it first so brothers, sisters and other close relatives each have a copy.