Book of condolence: how to set one up and what to write
A book of condolence is where people write their sympathy after a death. It sits at a funeral, a workplace or online, then goes to the family. Write your name, how you knew them and one memory.
Start with 40 pages free. No card needed.
Town halls open them for public figures, but most are for ordinary people, at a funeral, a school or an office. The family reads it later, often more than once.
The table shows where a book usually sits and what to set out with it.
See also: celebration of life ideas, a memory book for a coworker, a memorial photo book.
Open a book online
Start a memory book in the tbf scrapbook studio and invite people with a link to add their photos and words. Make a book of condolence online.
Start with 40 pages free. No card needed. Plans and prices.
| Where | Set out with it | Who passes it on |
|---|---|---|
| Funeral or wake | The book, two pens and a photo of them | A named family friend, at the end of the day |
| Workplace | The book at reception for a week, and a link for remote staff | A manager, by hand or by post |
| School or club | A book in the office and a link for families | The head or the secretary |
| Online | A link sent to everyone who knew them | The organiser, printed or as the link |
What to write
Your full name and how you knew them come first, because the family may not know you. Then one memory or quality, in a sentence or two. There is no need to mention how they died.
Setting one up
Choose a book with plain, heavy pages so ink does not show through. Number the pages, put a photo on the first and tie the pens to the book.
Online books
An online book reaches people who cannot travel and can hold photos as well as words. When it closes, print it or keep it as a link for the family.
Pages to make
Agree with the family
Ask whether they want one, where it should go and when it should close.
Set the first page
Their name, dates and a photo, so everyone knows whose book it is.
Open it to everyone
Put the book out and send the link to those who cannot come.
Close it and hand it over
Close it on the agreed date and give it to the family in person.
Questions
What do you write in a book of condolence?
Your name, how you knew the person, and a short memory or something you valued about them. A sentence or two is enough.
Who keeps the book of condolence?
The family it was made for. A book opened for a public figure may go to an archive once it closes.
Is an online book of condolence appropriate?
Yes, when people are spread out. Many families now have both: a book at the funeral and a link for everyone else.